Young
by Daisy60
Summary: Way back in the past, a bar, an encounter... Totally AU. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

**Castle fans the remaining letters of this bizarre alphabet are for you. Here's Y. Totally AU story, our duo way back in the past, a bar, an encounter. Enjoy the reading.**

**A/N: Any hints for the following letters? I, L, P, V? I'm curious to find out who's on the same page with me (I have a few ideas but I'm open to any interesting ones) Thanks**

**A/N: unfortunately I do not own any of these characters.**

**YOUNG**

He simply loved to be there.

As he sat at his usual spot, in the dimly lit far end of the room, in the booth that had become _his _over the last months, Richard could observe the incessant flow of people that attended the bar.

Not any bar. The Old Haunt. A piece of New York's history. And history could be smelled everywhere in there, it had impregnated the wood and the ceiling, it was written on the walls. Most of the best selling authors had come here. It didn't matter why, the Old Haunt was _the_ bar. For a drink, for a chat, for a girl, for a story...

_A story_. Richard had a crave for stories. That's what he was really good at, inventing stories. In the soft lighting which enveloped him he could unleash his imagination and give birth to the most intriguing stories that populated his mind. He could stay there sitting at his table for hours, taking in every single detail of the scene before him, of the man or the woman he had decided to be interesting enough as a character. Something clicked in his mind and the story started to unravel itself.

He always carried a writing pad with him. Sometimes it was just for a few notes, others for a whole chapter. When he went back home he'd type everything down on his computer until he was totally exhausted and had simply to throw himself on the bed and close his eyes.

He had been observing her for a while now. She had caught his attention the moment she had stepped into the bar with that particular way of swaying her hips, the determination he had seen in her eyes, the unusual totally mind-blowing laughter she burst into every now and then at her companion's jokes. He was magnetized. No matter how hard he tried to focus his attention on the other lively attenders his eyes always went back to her, drawn by a mysterious force that made him shiver from head to toe.

Feeling observed she turned round and met his gaze. He kept eye contact and she simply refused to let go as she dug her green eyes into his incredibly blue ones. Has she ever seen such a shade of blue before? she asked herself. And what the hell was this young man doing staring at her like that anyway? All by himself, a pen in his hand. A journalist, yeah. One of those free lancers desperately trying to write and sell "the piece of their life"... he must be what? About thirty, really tall by the look of it, fairly good looking guy... and that light in his eyes...

He didn't flinch. Neither did she. Till her friend stopped talking and pulled her forearm dragging her attention away from him. When she turned round to look at him again she saw him bent, writing frantically down on his pad. God, was he quick? She was fascinated by his ability to let the pen slip on the paper, almost caressing it. For a moment she wished to feel his hand run over her skin like that and she was thrilled.

Now that was just crazy – she thought – way too far carried away Kate! You don't even know his name... he could be easily one of those creeps who were after a one night stand...

He lifted his eyes sensing her gaze on him. The contact was held once again. More powerful this time. She felt his eyes burn on her skin as he looked at her. It was like eye-sex.

Never ever had she done _that_. She was puzzled, she felt strangely aroused, what the hell was she doing? Going to have a mind-blowing orgasm just looking at a guy she had never seen before? In a bar? While drinking with a friend who must have realized by now what was going on between her and the freaking hot lone young man not far from their table?

He kept his eyes on hers thinking he had never looked at a woman like this before. He felt the blood turn into fire in his veins, his body burning with the impossible desire of her. Now, that was not good, getting so powerfully aroused by a girl he had just seen at a bar. But she was not _any _girl. His senses had understood that much earlier than his brain and he felt absolutely powerless against what seemed to be inevitable and almost too embarrassing for him. He swallowed hard desperately trying to regain control over his aching body. There must be something he could do about this, he thought.

He dropped his eyes on the notepad quickly going through the lines he had just written down. He needed to cool off a bit or he would go crazy. He stared at his words for a long while, suddenly feeling his mind regain control over his heart.

When he lifted his eyes again she was gone.

He sighed. _Oh_ - he thought – _she would make the perfect character._

**A/N: thanks to all the readers for the incredible response to Undercover which, in this amazing "battlefield", is about to overcome A surprise, my most successful story so far. **


	2. Chapter 2

**I've decided to develop some of the stories I wrote for the Alphabet. Young is the most intriguing to me so I'll be working on this one for a while. It's mainly AU so don't worry if you don't find some of the usual characters of the fiction. Angst and drama will be also part of the story. So enjoy the reading and please review if you like it. **

**Thanks Gregg for your useful suggestion.**

**A/N: I do not own Castle. It belongs to ABC. The new characters are mine though.**

**SPARRING PARTNERS**

Every time she swept into the room Midge found it hard to breathe normally. Her body was so perfect it sent his senses into overdrive. Her eyes shone with a determination he had never seen before, not even once in all the years he had spent training rookies. Her long well proportioned limbs spoke of beauty and grace but at the same time told of strength and danger. How could such a stunning looking girl be so dangerous? Where did all her strength come from? He had to keep really focused on sparring with her because she had also proved to be a quick learner. No other woman he had trained was like her. She simply was not any other woman. And every time he had to raise his level of attention because he knew that she was going for real.

"Hey baby!" he greeted her knowing this would set her on fire.

"Midge." she replied holding his gaze daring him not to push the game any further.

"So, _little girl_, come to bite some more dust today?"

"Don't." she warned him. "there's not going to be any more dust for me."

"Uh uh, game on _kitty_. Let's see how good a student you've become."

She stepped on the mattress and held her stance, her bare feet planted wide apart. She was studying him, eyes fixed on his.

"I'm sensing some strong vibes in the air _kitten_. Bet you're craving to feel my body on yours again." he teased. He knew his technique had always been winning with the other girls. A couple of weeks and he had managed to have them pinned on his bed. But she was different, he knew that damn well. Two months and she still would slip from under his strong hold just like that. Even when he had her at his mercy she would resist. His face inches from hers, dangerously close. His body reacting to her proximity in a way that had him step into a long cold shower afterward.

Her first blow hit him in the chest and he felt his breath sucked from his lungs.

_Focus you damn fool_ he said to himself. He took a deep breath and gave her a challenging smile.

_I'll take that grin off your face_ she thought as she moved rapidly sidewards fists clenched ready to strike again.

He was quick though and turned raising his right foot to kick her right in the stomach. She parried the blow with her hand and felt the sharp pain in each one of her phalanges.

She stiffened. _Never lower your guard _she recited to herself.

"That hurt?" He mocked seeing her in pain.

The fire in her eyes was all the answer he got from her. She jumped backwards bouncing on her feet to regain her stance. She paused then never diverting her gaze from his eyes she rapidly moved her right foot sidewards to catch his left ankle. He was taken aback and found himself flat on the mattress. She was faster then lightning and pinned him down pressing her body on his. She felt his arousal and looked at him bewildered.

_How could he?_ She thought. _How dare he?_ He was actually enjoying himself _a lot_, having his ass kicked like that? By her?

"Dammit Midge!" she yelled pulling away.

"What Kay? He said honestly "don't you realize just how stunning you are? All flushed with anger, your body sparkling with sweat, your nipples as hard as rocks?"

She lowered her eyes on her breasts and flushed even more.

"No man, I swear to God, Kay, could resist seeing you like this."

"Stop it!"

"Why?" He added looking up at her, taking in every single inch of her amazingly arousing body, her chest still heaving with effort. "What the hell are you afraid of? To feel how desirable you are? Don't fool yourself, you're smarter than that Kay Beckett!"

"We're done here!" she snapped leaving him on the ground.

= o =

Kay stepped into the hottest shower of her life and tried to wash away the uncomfortable sensation running through her veins. He was her training officer, for Christ's sake! The _way too common _say "friends with benefits" didn't apply to her, least of all referred to a colleague or even worse than that to a superior in rank. She would never mess up with her career, nor with her heart. Midge was a "one night stand" kind of guy and she'd heard all sorts of stories concerning _him_. The origin of his nickname... what a stupid tradition in the first place. And from what she had felt when she was pinning him... Then the giggling of the other girls in the locker room as soon as his name came to their lips...

She had been determined from the very first day not to be another notch on his bedstead. End of story.

As she rubbed herself dry with her towel she couldn't help but think about the incredibly blue eyes that had set her on fire a few nights before. Was that the reason why she was so snappy with Midge? The reason why she couldn't stand another man desire her the way her unknown lover had? The hot water and the memory of those blissful moments made her body itch from head to toe and as she closed her eyes she softly ran her hand on her breasts then lower on her belly until she reached the brown curls between her thighs and moaned. She dreamed of his fingers caressing her, gently yet quickly moving on her, into her, like she had seen him do on his writing pad and a deeper, sexier moan escaped her lips and she simply shattered.

= o =

"A penny for your thoughts!" Donnelly exclaimed seeing how pensive Beckett looked tonight. "Something's bothering you all right Kay..."

"Sorry Don'. It's just..."

Just he wasn't there. She said to herself looking at the booth in the far end of the room. Instead of him a young couple was sitting at the same spot tonight hardly pretending they weren't making out in the packed bar. The guy had his hands all over his date and she shivered remembering how she had felt when his eyes had roamed wildly on her body. She sighed and brought the glass to her lips, the ice water chilling her instantly.

"You know them?" Donnelly inquired.

"No."

"So what Kay? What's wrong? We're partners now... you know? We're supposed to share things... help build up confidence in each other and stuff." he told her in that typical Irish accent of his.

She looked at him and felt so helpless. How could she tell her partner that all she had been able to think of lately was a man she had seen just once, right over there, four nights before? Sure enough she wasn't going to make a fool of herself.

Focus on her partnership she should do that. Have his back like every damn good partner would do, that was it. She would stick to that and stop fantasizing over a guy she'd probably never meet again. Her brain was desperately trying to gain control over her emotions. But her heart simply refused to let go of those moments of pure, magic bliss. She let out a deep sigh again, eyes fixed on the void.

"That bad uh, lass?"

"Shit!" she exclaimed startled back to reality.

"Come on Cinderella, time to start our night shift. Guess your Prince Charming's not showing up tonight..."

C&B

Rick grabbed his glass and took another shot of whiskey. He looked at his watch and sighed. She would not come, not tonight. He stared miserably at the seat which had been hers that night. It was empty. And the air was empty too, without the sound of her incredible laughter so unmistakably unique. His eyes searched the Old Haunt for a sign, any hint that would lead him to the incredible creature who had haunted his dreams for the past week. He found none.

He stared at the white sheet of paper in his notepad. It missed her too. He seemed unable to write a single line without his new found muse. _You must be crazy man_, he confessed to himself. _Come on pull yourself together and move on. Just move on._

But how could he? When every time he walked into this _temple_ everything reminded him of her? When every night he felt so helplessly alone? If the sparkles he had seen in her eyes has set him on a fire that was turning him to ashes?

He drank up, closed his writing pad and left.

Sure enough another night of hell was awaiting him.

= o =

Rick tossed and turned in his bed unable to sleep, covered in sweat in the heat of yet another awfully hot New York summer.

The lights outside pierced the blinds and cast their flickering shadows on the walls in front of him.

He finally got up and looked at his image in the mirror. "Man you do look like crap!" he spat.

He walked into the small kitchen of his suburban flat and opened the fridge. He grabbed a cold beer then moved to the living room which was also his study and sank on the couch.

He was starting to hate nights. Painful and never ending they witnessed his mourning the loss of a woman that hadn't even been his.

Would he lose his sanity for her? And what was her name?

**A/N: thanks to all the readers who have put Young and the other Alphabet shots on their alert or favorite. Your opinion on this would be appreciated.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's another chapter of Young: the story is still mainly AU and becoming more dramatic for our duo. I don't want to upset anyone, it is just a fiction. If you feel drama is not your piece of cake you're free to leave. If you're curious to see how the story develops read and enjoy. And review. Thanks.**

**A/N: I do not own Castle or any of its characters.**

**PATROL**

"Richard darling." Martha greeted him opening her door.

"Hello Mother"

"How are you?"

"What do you think?"

"Not your best self, kiddo. And - she paused - by the look of it... there must be trouble in paradise..."

Bingo! she thought amused at his astonished look. She could read him so well.

She was so clever Richard had always known which one of his parents he had taken his wit from. His rugged good looks however ... though his mother was a beautiful woman, that must definitely be his father's but his name was a mystery Martha Rogers was willing to take to the grave.

"My boy - she went on - guess I still have quite a few things to teach you about love..."

"Don't worry Mother, you have already taught me plenty."

Apart from being an amazingly talented actress who still found her way to hit both the stage and the screen she had always believed life was just too short to waste even the tiniest moment of it. Actors, politicians or businessmen had played in her merry-go-round of love affairs and in her special carousel Richard had his own imprinting. And that had resulted in a double figure list of conquests, a loveless marriage loaded with steamy sex and a two-year-old red-haired baby girl who now lived in Los Angeles with her mother.

"So who's the lucky girl?" he heard his mother inquire waking him up from his reverie.

"What if I told you I don't even know her name?"

"Uh mystery... that... my dear is the real thrill!" she stated with a big smile.

"Right now I feel a bit of a fool."

"Don't my darling. You never know what this might turn out to be..."

He just smiled.

"Now Richard... pour yourself a drink while I finish to get ready. Stan'll be here in less than half an hour."

She took him in her arms and made him swirl in the living room. "Tonight, kiddo, it's going to be rumba and … passion! She giggled.

"Right." he mumbled to himself.

**C&B**

"So what have we got tonight Don'?"

"Same as yesterday. Everything seems just fine."

"I don't like it. Too quiet."

"Must be the heat keeping all those crooks at home." mused Donnelly driving through an incredibly silent night.

"So next month eh?"

"Yeah, she's going to buy her dress at the end of the week."

"She will be gorgeous and I bet you'll freak out when she walks down the aisle with her father."

"I sure will."

"You're totally nuts about her." She chuckled.

"I am. - he replied truthfully - I never thought I'd be this happy Kay."

She smiled at him and tapped him on the shoulder. "You both deserve that."

"Can't wait to take her to Hawaii on our honeymoon, you know? It'll be a dream come true for her… for us… just relaxing on the beach, swimming and…" he gave her a wicked smile.

"Spare me your horny details Don'." She teased him.

"Why Kay Beckett, you prudish?"

Something prevented her from answering.

"You heard that?" she asked him.

"Yeah, down there. In that alley. Probably someone too pissed to walk straight has knocked a couple of trash cans over."

He stopped the car and turned off the engine. They heard a strong male voice but couldn't make out the words. Then the sound of another trash bin tumbling down followed by the moans of someone in pain.

"Let's go." she said reaching out on the back seat for her life vest.

Donnelly got out holding a flashlight in his mouth while he put on his bullet-proof jacket too. Beckett quickly fastened hers and walked towards the street corner.

As he moved beside the car the beam of his torch brightened the entrance of the alley and hell started raining down on him. He was hit twice even before he realized where the shots came from.

He let out a strangled scream and fell down on the pavement.

"Don, you ok?" she inquired stepping out instinctively toward him.

"Fuck there's another one." she heard in the distance. "Shoot bro!"

Beckett managed to squeeze herself against the brick wall behind her and stayed put in the dark holding her breath as bullets whistled past her. One hit the gutter next to her leg. She saw the sparkles shine in the night and shivered, adrenaline rushing wild through her veins. All she could think of was that it was a bloody ridiculous way of dying and she didn't want to die like that.

There was a pause. They must have run out of bullets because she heard their footsteps as they tried to flee the crime scene. She rushed into the middle of the alley. "NYPD freeze" she let out before starting to shoot at the running silhouettes.

"That bitch – one of them screamed – she got my arm!"

"Forget about your fucking arm and just run!" the other yelled.

Then she heard doors slam shut and tires screech on the asphalt as a car drove rapidly off.

Beckett put her gun back into its holster and ran toward her partner. His left hand was pressed firmly on his neck. His face pale and set on a grimace as his body contorted with pain.

"Damn Don'… she told as she saw the blood stain widen on his shirt. "I'm calling 911, you'll be fine."

"They won't make it." He said in a strangled whisper pulling his hand from his neck.

"Shit! - She exclaimed seeing how the bullet had badly severed his jugular vein. "Michael Donnelly don't you dare leaving me!" She pressed her hands as hard as she could on his wounds realizing his partner was bleeding to death.

He felt the light quickly going out of his eyes and the urge to say one last thing.

"Tell her I'm sorry Kay… I really wanted…"

"Stay with me Donnelly. She cried out her hands covered with his blood as she kept pressing desperately on his body. "Look at me! Come on man, don't give up! Stay with me!"

Then he loosened his grip on her forearm and gave her one last dull look.

And he was gone.

She lowered her head on his and cried holding him, cradling him. Suddenly she heard a low moan behind the bins and she froze. She pulled her Glock out and moved toward the heap of garbage bags and turned over cans.

"Don't move" she commanded to the figure lying prone below her.

"I ... can't."

Beckett knelt down and reached out tentatively. "If you mess around with me I'll shoot you." she stated making him roll onto his back so she could see him.

There, in the dim light of the alley, she looked at him and she gasped for air.

**C&B**

It was so late, she was so tired and she had lost count of the hours she had spent in that damn alley. The place wasn't dark and silent anymore packed as it was with CSU technicians collecting evidence and her colleagues from the precinct who had rushed there when she had finally reached for her radio to report the assault. And the flashing lights of the ambulances were making her feel even dizzier than she already was.

"We're done here." said the M.E. closing the long straight zipper of the black bag containing Donnelly's now cold body. She stiffened at seeing him disappear inside the plastic container which was to be his first grave to the morgue and shivered at the idea that she too could have been zipped into one of those bags, dead cold. She suddenly felt nauseous. She just wanted to get the hell out of there and throw her guts up. Yet she took a deep breath and swallowed hard. She would never give in to her fears. That was the least she could do for him right now. She owed him that.

"I swear to God Don'... I'll catch the bastards you did this to you!" she whispered as the paramedics carried his corpse into the morgue's van. She blinked and a silent tear slid down her cheek.

"You should go home Beckett." said the Captain giving her a fatherly pat on the shoulder.

"How about him sir?" she asked nodding at the stranger sitting inside the ambulance.

"Personal detail 24/7 for a couple of days. With those two scum bags still on the run..."

A chill ran through her spine. He too could have been dead, those beautiful deep blue eyes could have been shut forever, those hands capable of caressing a page so sensually could be lying along his body on a cold autopsy table...

"Beckett?"

She startled back to reality. "Sorry Captain."

"Go get some rest."

"I'll be fine, sir."

"Sure." said the Captain giving her a supportive smile.

He knew exactly how she felt. No way she would rest tonight nor the following nights after something like that. He had been there before. Only _that _was so way back in time the contours if it all had slowly faded. But one thing was so clear in his mind it still haunted his dreams: his partner's terrified eyes as the robber had pulled the trigger blowing his head off right in front of him.

"Can I drive him home sir? I need to talk to him."

He nodded his consent. "I'll see you tomorrow at the precinct Beckett, we'll discuss things, right?"

"Yes, sir. Goodnight."

She walked over to the ambulance. He was looking at his hands covered with bandages. As she approached him he raised his head and their eyes locked.

"How you doing?" she asked concerned.

"I've seen better days."

"Come on, let's go home."

**A/N: Of course there are going to be better days for our "young" couple. Let me know your opinion about this I'd really appreciate that. Thanks for reading.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's another chapter, still AU. Enjoy the reading.**

**Thanks to all the readers for the amazing response to the story.**

**A/N: I do not own Castle. The new characters are mine.**

**STAY**

"**Don't touch her!"**

The scream scared the life out of her and she found herself sitting, eyes wide open, the Glock in her hand.

What time was it? She must have dozed off on his couch after what had seemed like an eternity.

Alone in the darkness of the night the images of the assault just wouldn't leave her mind and she had tossed and turned unable to rest. She had cried for so long tears turning into desperate sobs as she thought about her partner lying dead in a fridge.

She got up and walked to his bedroom.

The street lights filtered through the blinds and she easily found her way to the lamp on the night stand.

"What happened to your hand?" she asked him seeing it was bleeding.

"I... hit the headboard."

"You were having a nightmare. Anything you want to talk about?"

He shook his head. How could he tell her how shattering that dream was? How useless he felt not being able to help her when those guys were... God he couldn't even think of that! She kept her glance on him trying to understand what had upset him so much but he looked away eyes avoiding hers.

"Okay, let me fix this." she told him walking into the bathroom to get the medication kit for the second time that night.

The state of his torso once she had cautiously removed his shirt had made her heart shrink and sure as hell he must have been in pain. He hadn't complained though letting her take care of his cuts and bruises simply moaning every now and then.

"Anything broken?" she inquired removing the bandages from his hand.

"I don't think so."

"That hurt?"

"Excruciating..."

"There you are." she said giving him a smile. "I'll get you a clean T shirt, you're covered in sweat."

"Stay with me... please?" he dared to ask once she was finished.

She looked at him puzzled. But then she realized she needed to stay with him just as much as he needed her and she nodded.

He tried to shift on the mattress to better accommodate her and a groan escaped his lips.

"It's OK, I'll be fine." she said slipping between the sheets.

The contact with his body made her shiver and she pulled back to leave some space between them.

"Can you... just... hold me?" he begged and something inside her tore apart.

He was so big and yet so fragile right now it made her heart ache. She turned toward him and put her green eyes into his blue ones. Then she circled his chest with her arm. Though his skin still smelled like bubble bath and antiseptic an inviting warmth spread from his body into hers. She pulled her hand and placed it on his heart and she felt it pound wildly under her touch. Suddenly she heard him sob and lifted her head to look at him.

"I'm so very sorry..." he said.

"Don't be... it wasn't your fault."

"How can you say that when your partner is dead because of me..."

"It could have been someone else you know?"

"But still if I..." she silenced his lips with her fingers.

"Don't torture yourself, there's nothing we can do right now. We'll sort things out... tomorrow. Now let's try and get some sleep."

"Thank you Kate." he whispered. She felt his bandaged hand brush her cheek and as she closed her eyes she thought she had never been touched so delicately in her life.

**C&B**

She knocked on the door and entered the Captain's office.

"Good morning sir."

" 'Morning Beckett, take a seat."

"Thanks sir I'd rather stand."

She always did. The Captain looked at her and smiled.

"How you doing?"

"Coping..."

"You didn't get much sleep last night." he stated seeing the dark circles under her eyes.

"No sir." she acknowledged.

"Look Kay, nobody is going to tell you it's gonna be easy, that you're going to forget. Because – he lingered thinking about what he had gone through – it's simply impossible to forget."

"He was so young... and so happy... I ..."

"I know what it feels like. And I want you to take a couple of days off Beckett." he switched to her family name to make her understand there was no arguing about that.

"But sir... I made a promise..."

"I'm sure you'll keep it. Right now you're off-duty. You know how it works."

"You're sending me to a shrink, sir?"

"You cannot handle this alone Beckett, no matter how strong you are."

PTSD. She had always hated those initials. She had heard about cops going through a long term rehab. She was one of them now. Weak, unable to rest, swept away by something much bigger than her.

"Keeping everything inside Kay is what we tend to do, instinctively. But it's not good. It will crush you. You're a good person, a good cop Beckett. But right now you need help."

"Yes, sir." she said swallowing the tears that filled her eyes.

"Get back in the saddle Kay, I'm going to make you one of the best the NYPD has ever had."

**C&B**

"Hi Davis."

"Hey Beckett." greeted the Officer in charge of the shooting range.

They exchanged a quick glance. She looked dead serious and, contrary to her habit, she didn't say a word. He loved to see her eyes turn to a brighter shade of green and her cheeks flush whenever he told her one of his best jokes. Her laughter was contagious and she was so beautiful he had been secretly in love with her since the first time he had met her. But Katherine Beckett was not an easy target, not for him, nor for anyone. Not today.

"I'm sorry Beckett, really am." was all he could say.

As she nodded he thought that he had never seen her like this and he was almost scared of the fierce determination that glint in her eyes.

"Which one?" she asked him.

"Two."

"Thanks Davis."

She went to the firing line put on her glasses and ear muffs, loaded her Glock then aimed at the chest of the cardboard target and fired. There was a large hole at the place of the heart and Beckett didn't flinch. As a myriad of images and sensations rushed through her mind she reloaded her gun and took a deep breath. She looked at the standing silhouette in front of her trying to clear her mind and focus on her next target. Arm stretched out she aimed, closed her eyes and fired again. All the magazine.

When she looked at the target again its head had been blown off.

**C&B**

Beckett turned off the engine and got out of her car. Then walked up the steps and stood motionless in front of the door. God she hated this yet she had to do it. It was the first time and it was going to be with her partner's girlfriend. Would she find the right words? Or would she simply look at her and break down. No, she couldn't do that. She couldn't show how shattered she felt inside. She gave a quick glance at the door bell and breathed in and out slowly. _Come on Kate, get a grip! _she told herself as her finger pressed the bell push.

A pair of puffy dark circled eyes met her gaze when the door pulled open. The two women looked at each other for a long time before either of them found the strenght to speak.

"Hi Lizzie." Beckett said breaking the silence.

"Hello Kay." There was another pause then Lizzie stepped aside to let Beckett into her house.

They sat on the couch and Beckett turned slightly to her side to face her. Lizzie's eyes mirrored the despair she was feeling inside and Beckett's heart shrank in her chest. Only last week they had been in the same room laughing joyfully... Kate closed her eyes and the image of clinking glasses came to her mind. A toast to the future, to a life together that wasn't meant to be...

"How are you doing?"

"A mess. But I have to be strong for..."

Beckett followed Liz's hand slip to her belly and a puzzled look spread across her face.

"I didn't have the time to tell him... you know? I had just found out and..."

"Oh God, Liz... you are?"

"Yes, I'm going to have a child, his child..."

"I'm so sorry Liz." she whispered in a low tone."He would have been a good father... and he really loved you. I always teased him about being so in love with you..." Beckett felt the words die in her mouth at the memory of the light going out in Don's eyes, life slipping out of him so quickly. "His last words were for you... he wanted you to know how sorry he was..." Beckett leaned forward and circled Lizzie with her arms, holding her close. She felt tears soack her blouse and both cried for an incredible lenght of time.

"I made a promise Lizzie - Beckett finally said - and I swear, again, that I will not rest until I find the sons of bitches who did this."


	5. Chapter 5

**Here's another chapter. Still AU. Still about hurt and angst. The road to happiness is never an easy one. Enjoy the reading.**

**A/N: I do not own Castle. Just writing for the pleasure of it.**

**IN DANGER**

"**Were you out of your senses**?" Yelled Martha.

"Mother I may be battered but I'm not deaf...yet. I think you're overreacting here."

"**I am what**?" She yelled even more "You're trying to make fun of me kiddo? Because you know... I don't think that's funny at all. So..." - she went on - "what on earth were you doing in that damn alley? And don't you dare charm me out of all this."

He would not get away with it so easily he said to himself as he felt his mother's eyes pinning him to the nearest wall.

"Research." He said.

"Research? At 11 o'clock? In a dark deserted place in Brooklyn?"

"They dragged me there, guess someone didn't like my messing around with their "little business"."

"And what _little business_ was that you'd been investigating exactly?"

"The connection between organized crime in New York and foreign crime networks... you know... to get control of nuclear weapons smuggling and other not so friendly stuff trafficking."

She gave him a flabbergasted look.

"Richard, my son" she continued recovering from the shock "do you really believe that doing what you call a _little research_ for one of your damn books is worth being beaten almost to death by some felons who don't give a damn about getting you out of the picture? Someone died to save you..."

"I know and I'm sorry..."

"You better be. Do you just realize what I went through? Being informed by someone else about this? And how about Alexis? Have you forgotten you are a father now? Not Sherlock Holmes my dear. And this is _**not**_ one of your stories!"

He seemed totally speechless at her outburst and all he could do was give her a "I totally fucked up" look. End of story.

He knew he had made a total mess of that night, how was he ever going to forget? There was no way he could. His inner demons were there, every time he tried to close his eyes and get some rest. His curiosity had made him push the boundaries and now he had to pay the price for that. Only the stakes this time were too high and this was not one of his poker games.

**C&B**

"So you feel responsible for your partner's death."

"Of course I do."

Anyone would for Heaven's sake. He was supposed to help her not drive her nuts.

"And why is that Kate?"

Damn him she felt like she was going to blow off any minute now and sure as hell he'd sensed that. She had been on edge from the very first moment she had entered the shrink's studio. She was tense, she was fighting it. She didn't want to talk about that bloody night, not now. She still had the image of Lizzie's lost look in mind. Her hands on her belly... her child... Don's child... his happiness and her sorrow... an orphan...

"Kate..." - he went on bringing her back to him - "what's bothering you?"

"I... we... were partners. Of course you know what that means right?"

He nodded.

"So you do know partners are always there, they have your back..."

"And you you weren't there? I've read the report Kate. There was nothing you could do to save his life. Not against two .45s. So why do you feel it's your fault?" he asked again.

"I was so scared... I stepped back... to hide myself..."

"To protect yourself Kate. They were shooting at you... trying to kill you ... and the man they didn't have the time to... thanks to you."

She knew, she didn't need remembering. She didn't need him to turn the knife so easily into her body and widen a wound that would probably bleed forever.

"I'd have killed them, I swear... but it was too dark... and they were too fast..."

"You shot one."

"I did but that was not enough."

"Would you really do that Kate... if you had the chance?"

She clenched her fists until her knuckles where so white he feared her skin would rip.

She was so young and beautiful it almost hurt him to see her like this. Mourning the loss of her partner, wanting desperately to avenge his death, trying to understand the reason why of it all. As he looked at her trembling figure standing before him he already knew what the answer would be.

**C&B**

She kicked and punched like crazy. Drenched and panting she hit the punching bag with a force Midge had never seen in a woman before.

"You gonna hurt yourself." he said approaching her.

"Do I care?"

"You might want to spare your hands for someone else."

She stopped and gave a quick glance at her bandaged hands. They hurt like hell and were starting to bleed.

"So I might."

"Want to spar? Ease some of that stress?"

"Yeah." she agreed still catching her breath.

"Come on then, let's give it a go."

"Anything you can teach me today?" She asked seriously.

"Nothing much really. Just... clear your mind and untangle those messy strings you feel inside..."

That was exactly like she felt. A bundle of knotted strings so wound up together she didn't know how to handle.

"Let's keep it quiet and focus on the target. And... Kay... don't hold back."

He kicked off his shoes and stepped on the mattress facing her. They stared at each other for a long time. When he realized she was breathing normally again he gave her a query look and she nodded.

At first they tried to punch each other but every time they both managed to anticipate the respective moves and just parry the blows. Midge studied her and the feral look in her eyes told him of the inner battle she was fighting not to lose herself. She was tough, had always been and he knew that in the end she would turn out even tougher, no matter how capsized her life had been.

She kept her eyes focused on his, trying to catch a glimpse of his next move but he didn't let on.

He was quick and raised his foot to hit her in the stomach. She shifted aside and he missed. Taking advantage of his lost balance she span and back kicked him in the gut but he caught her foot and she found herself in the air before she fell flat on the mattress. He straddled her and grabbing her wrists he pulled her hands above her head pinning them fiercely down.

She was cornered and she hated that mocking grin on his face.

"React!" he ordered.

Never losing eye contact she didn't think twice and lifted her right knee to hit him in the groin.

He shut his eyes, let go of his grip and landed on top of her with a strangled moan.

**C&B**

"**Come on, pick it up!"** She burst out trying to call him on the phone and getting no answer for the third time.

OK, she was late but how could she simply leave Midge like that? After what she'd done to him he was in pain, really. When he had finally recovered from the blow they had grabbed a beer and talked for a while. Just a casual chit chat about future plans, neither daring to dwell on past events. Then she had stepped into a cold shower to cool down a bit before heading back home.

What was going on? she asked herself – why wasn't he answering the damn phone?

The traffic ahead told her she had at least another ten more minutes' drive before she reached his place. Ten... more... minutes!

She clenched the steering wheel and took a deep breath desperately trying not to be overcome by the horrible gut feeling lurking inside. Her heart beat sped up and every single fiber of her body ached at the thought that he might be in danger. Again.

"Answer it, for God's sake!"

His phone was dead mute.

Something was wrong. So very wrong.

**A/N: How did you like it? Reviewing only takes a couple of minutes and makes a writer happy. Thanks.**


	6. Chapter 6

**So here is another chapter of Young. Still AU and way back in the past of our amazing couple. This part is going to be harsh so if you think angst and violence are definitely not your piece of cake feel free to click the back button. If you are curious to find out how our duo handles this trying situation follow me and enjoy the reading.**

**A/N: I do not own Castle.**

**ANGST**

She didn't think about the traffic rules she was breaking in order to get there as fast as she could. Going through red lights, driving in non-passing lanes and not giving way at two intersections resulted in a few "F words" and a couple of very pissed off drivers giving her the finger. She couldn't care less because her mind was fogged with angst and all that mattered was to find him and make sure he was alright.

When she finally got to his place she threw herself out of the car and rushed towards his flat racing up the stairs till she reached the third floor her heart beat thundering in her ears.

She paused and placed her head on the front door. She heard someone gasp and choke from the other side. She took her spare key and slipped it noiselessly into the lock, turned the knob and pushed the door open looking right then left to check the living room. She couldn't see anyone there so she moved into his apartment holding her Glock straight ahead quickly scanning the place.

Whoever broke into the apartment didn't have it easy with him because Richard had put up a fight: two chairs were overturned, the pieces of a vase which was usually on the table were scattered all around the floor, the couch had been pushed from its usual spot and some books knocked off the bookshelf.

The moans came from the bathroom. Holding her breath she walked there on the tip of her toes feeling the adrenaline raging through her veins.

The door was ajar and reflected in the mirror above the sink she spotted a man slightly bent forward. She pushed the door open a little and could see both of them clearly now. Head deep down into the filled up bath, hands tied behind the back Richard's body convulsed in the desperate effort to hold his breath while behind him a big guy pushed his head underwater.

The bastard is trying to drown him! She thought.

All she was able to see of the man's face was a deep scar that ran across his left cheek.

"Give me just one good reason not to blow your bloody head off." she threatened pressing the tip of her gun on his nape.

The man stiffened.

"Release him!" she commanded.

He did. Below him Richard inhaled forcefully, panting and gasping for air, then curled up on the floor choking.

Beckett grabbed her handcuffs and reached out for the man's left hand.

Suddenly everything blurred as she felt his right elbow hit her in the gut. She grunted in pain and stepped backwards. Then he struck her on the right forearm making her drop her gun.

"Dammit!" she yelled. Never in the world could she overpower the attacker, no matter how big he was he was real fast.

Come on Kate pull yourself together! - she said to herself – just focus!

"Richard are you OK?" She had the time to ask before she felt two enormous hands dragging her to the nearest wall. Her head hit violently the tiles behind her and for a moment she felt dizzy. Not far from her Richard was still coughing and spitting water.

The next thing she sensed when her mind was clear again was the strong grip of the attacker on her neck as he kept her pinned to the wall the other hand busy undressing her where he needed to.

"You dirty bitch, I bet you've never had a big one against a wall. You gonna enjoy that for sure." he spat.

Fuck - she thought - he was going to rape her there and then.

She tried to scream but the hold on her neck was so strong she feared she would pass out soon. She couldn't though. She had to stay awake, sort something out before it was too late, before he made a mess of her in front of Richard. God she couldn't let him see that, how could they ever recover from something so shattering?

She felt the attacker's cold hand slip inside her pants and the loud groan escaping his lips as he found her skin underneath her trousers. She felt nauseous and swallowed hard not to throw up as he pushed her pants down her legs. She could hardly focus on anything but the dreadful thought that soon, too soon, he would be pounding inside her. She couldn't breathe normally, she couldn't think straight and she was scared to death.

"Don't you dare play the smart ass with me you whore or you gonna regret the day you were born." and as he said that he closed his hand around her neck even more. She let out a strangled moan and her legs started to buckle. She was not going to resist much longer and she felt his disgusting breath on her neck as he unzipped his pants and lowered his underwear. When he pushed his aroused body on her belly she closed her eyes and stiffened. She knew he would make her scream but not with pleasure.

He tried to push her legs apart but she refused to comply and his free hand landed fiercely on her cheek. She tasted the warmth of her own blood and tears fell silently from her eyes.

"Obey!" he commanded sneaking his huge hand between her thighs.

Her face was on fire, her lip swollen, her head spinning round as if she was going to fall down any minute now.

"**Get your filthy hands off her, you dirt bag!**" she heard Richard yell before the sound of a gunshot filled the room. The man screamed and loosened his grip on her neck before dropping to the floor.

"Cuff him Kate, quick." Richard said seeing her stare at the agonizing man below her.

She did, almost in trance. He pulled himself on his knees and nodded at the rope still tying his wrists.

"Please Kate." he gently asked her.

When he was finally free he threw his arms around her holding her close to him. Uncontrollable waves of tremors wracked her body and she broke down in his arms.

"Shh... it's over. Everything is over." he softly whispered in her ear.

**A/N: too tough? the most trying times are over... I'll be posting the end of the story soon. Thanks for reading and reviewing.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Here is the last chapter of Young. Back to romance. Thanks for the amazing response to this story and for adding this to your favs and for reviewing. I really had fun writing this, even when it meant going through angst and drama. So, enjoy and let me know your opinion. Feedback is what keeps us going and improving. **

**A/N: I do not own Castle nor these characters.**

**LOVE**

So they were surrounded once again by Crime Scene investigators and technicians canvasing his apartment and paramedics from 911 called to take care of the assailant. And yes, once again he had gone through _the ritual _of being questioned. A thing he might really get used to. As he looked at the scene in front of him Richard thought that under different circumstances what was happening would be great for one of his stories. Too bad the story was set in his own apartment where he had almost been killed and Beckett almost...

He felt a lump in his throat and swallowed hard to push away the images that were ravaging his mind... Kate's desperate look as she tried to resist... half naked... so exposed and helpless... those bloody filthy hands all over her body... what if he hadn't reached for the gun? What if he had shot her instead?

As he struggled to overcome the pangs of his guilty conscience he realized that maybe his mother had been right, absolutely right. What was he thinking when he had decided to ask one question too many in that night club? Was it really worth risking his own life? And did somebody have to die because of his stubbornness?

"You okay?" she asked approaching him.

"Yeah." he replied but she knew it was a lie.

"How about you?"

"I guess I'll survive with a few bruises on my neck. And a scarf..." she replied giving him a smile.

How could she smile at him? He didn't dare look at her. He was ashamed of himself for what he'd done. Beckett 's neck would bare the marks of this new assault for quite a while but most of all because of him her life had been endangered again.

"God, I'm such a fool. How can you ever forgive me this time?"

"Hey" - she said gently striking his cheek sensing the tears welling up in his eyes - "You've saved my life. You're a good shot, you know that, don't you?" she continued in the attempt of lighting up his mood. His lips slightly turned up. "Please, don't feel guilty." she whispered cupping his face and holding his gaze. He blinked and she caught a tear falling from his eyelids.

"There's no need for us to stay here. We can leave and let them carry on with their work" - she stated nodding at the experts around them - "and I'm _dying_ to get a hot shower..."

"Did you really have to say that?"

"Uh, you're a real bundle of nerves. You need a hot shower too. Come on grab some clothes, we'll stay at my place tonight."

**C&B**

It was late but even in the dim light flickering from the lamp on the night stand she could make out the contours of his wounds.

"You're healing" she said looking at his back where scars were turning to a lighter shade of red.

She paused and he held his breath desperately needing to feel the soft brush of her fingers on him.

As days went by and nights dragged on they had become so close that sleeping in each other's arms was the anchor that held them firmly into a reality both of them were too scared to face alone. Fate had made their paths cross and tragedy had sealed them together. Forever.

She had tried not to think about him, telling herself she was a fool because of her constantly wanting to see him again after that night. Was it possible to fall in love with someone by simply melting into his eyes like that? Was it even possible to be able to forget the fire that burned in those deep blue eyes, for her? The fire which had burned inside of her too turning nights into a living hell of desire, moans and self-given pleasure? He was there now... so close, so warm and his warmth was intoxicating and she wanted to drown in it.

He waited knowing it was her move to make. He was willing to take whatever destiny had decided for him since that night at the Old Haunt. She had been with him all the time, his mind full of her, his heart unable to set to a normal pace. The look on her face when she had turned him round in that alley was something he would never forget and no matter how hard she'd cried, how swollen her eyes had been the light he'd seen deep down her eyes had brought him back to life.

He felt the soft touch of fingertips on his shoulder blades and stiffened. He didn't dare to move nor breathe as he waited for the next caress. When her hands ran along his back and her lips brushed the nape of his neck a low groan escaped his lips and his hands gripped the sheet below. He wanted to turn around and look at her, hold her tight, kiss her so desperately his heart missed a beat. But he stood still his senses flying high as he let her bring him to a place he'd never been before just by touching him.

She stopped and he waited in anticipation. He heard the ruffle of fabric behind him then he felt her bare breasts on his skin as she circled his body with her arms placing her hands on his chest.

He shivered under her touch his skin reacting wildly to the warmth radiating from her body.

"Kate..." he whispered releasing the sheet and moving his hands on hers. Their fingers intertwined and he pulled them to his lips and gently kissed them leaving a long wet trail of fire as he started to move his mouth along her arms.

"Make love to me..." she heard herself whisper in his ear. God she'd never felt such an intense desire before. Her whole body pulsed to be with him, to be one with his, to consume itself in his fire.

He turned around and found his suspended desire in her sparkling eyes. He softly kissed her and both felt electrified as their lips met for the first time. She closed her eyes, slightly opened her mouth and her tongue touched his. Both sighed in unison at the new found intimacy. It was sweet and slow at first as both tasted and discovered each other. Then the kiss deepened and their moans filled the room as their tongues dueled for dominance, their minds drifted away from the horrors they had seen and their bodies fused in one all-consuming burning flame.

He let his hands travel on her shoulders moving south toward the gentle curves of her breasts and she shivered as he grazed the already too sensitive skin around her nipples, teasing them, leaving her suspended with anticipation.

"Rick... please..." she begged unable to stand his sweet torture any more.

**B&C**

"**Castle!"**

His magic erotic bubble shattered in a million pieces as he opened his eyes and came back to reality. Yet he found her face so closed to his, her scent enveloping him.

"What are you doing?" she asked even if she knew, damn well, what he was doing to her. She had never been kissed like that and she had regretted stopping him the moment the words had come out of her mouth. Still mesmerized by the memory of their kiss she longed for his lips to be back on hers.

She didn't flinch and he didn't move.

"Feeling you?" he replied hesitatingly. Was he actually kissing and groping his partner senseless? On her couch? How had they managed to set the glasses on the coffee table? God he couldn't remember a thing, only the sweet taste of her lips. "Do you want me to...?" he dared ask. It was her move to make.

She never let him finish his sentence and placed her hand firmly on his pressing it to her breast.

"No." she urged. His face was transfigured as if he had been miles away, in another place, in another time yet with her. "Whatever you were daydreaming about it must have been..."

"Beautiful Kate... you were absolutely totally beautiful." he said earnestly.

"I want you to tell me your story Rick but this time let's start from the end." she said pulling him off the couch.

He nodded and let her lead him wordlessly to her bedroom.

He smiled.

No matter how perfect in my fantasy - he said to himself - no character will ever compare to the real you.

**A/N: How did you like the twist in the end? Let me know. Thanks for reading.**


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